If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say.....

The last 4 years of competing and training others for competitions, I realized how awful people in our lives can be with their negative comments towards our bodies, how we train and how we eat to get competition ready.

I have gone through it many times, and I have come to the conclusion that some people may be jealous. They are jealous because they wish they could compete, or they wish they could be motivated or dedicated enough to achieve the body they desire, or some people in our lives just don't like how we "change" our habits or lifestyle because it does not suit their own lifestyle.

I have had this conversation many times with the girls I train, and their minds get really mixed up over what others say to them, and these girls start to look at themselves differently in the mirror. They feel too fat, or they feel too skinny, or they feel like they will never be ready for the show. It is truly awful to have your friends or family not support your decision to compete.

Most people, when they think of someone doing a figure or bikini competition, the words that come to their minds are "starvation, anorexia and unhealthy". Unfortunately there are many people in the competition world that take things to the extreme just to win. However, there are many people, including myself, that do not take this approach and like to prep for a competition as healthy as possible. This includes eating regularly with the appropriate amounts of protein, fats and carbohydrates. In fact as a trainer, I have actually yelled at girls before for not eating enough. My career is important to me and I do not need people thinking things that are untrue about the way I train others.

Competing and prepping for a competition requires a very strong person and not just physically, mostly mentally. The last thing we need is to hear that we look terrible in any way. This negative talk can really destroy a persons self-image, which can result in other issues like depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia and even eating disorders.

My conclusion is that if someone in your life is going to compete, keep your negative comments to yourself. It is hard enough for competitors to make sacrifices to achieve their goals without someone telling them how horrible they look. If you are any kind of a friend, you will respect their decision and support them in any way you can. This type of prep is only for a short while, so whatever "your" issue is with your friend or family member prepping for a competition, deal with it until the competition is over. In the mean time, maybe you will learn a thing or two about eating clean or working out, or even getting a bit of motivation to change yourself.


  1. You know what? Not only is the comments of others relating to you as competitors awful or negative but also towards people, like me, who have lost the weight.
    I had a comment this weekend, saying that I should not lose any more weight because then I will be too thin.
    I have come to the conclusion that the people I know, might be jealous about my commitment and drive I have towards healthy living resulting in the fact that I have lost the weight. So, I agree with you. We should not listen to these people's comments. We should do what we have set out for ourselves, our goals.

  2. Good job on the weight loss! It is always hard hearing the negative comments from people. People tend to say and do mean things when they feel jealous in any way. Keep up with the good work and tune out the negativity!


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